I seena rainbow yesterday

I saw a rainbow @ 32000 ft and it was even more beautiful than i could imagine from the ground, the colors exceedingly more vivid than to when we are victims to gravity, they burned its imprint in the sky palette and disappeared. A God wink to the notion that God is Light of world and He with all power can disperse Himself into all shades that is necessary and when it s all done its it dissipates back into the His exist, only to remind you it was still HIM all along,He just had to show you the contrastive tones of His loving affection.Its wonderful floating amongst the clouds ,you could have no other option than to believe that God is a AWESOME EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDUNTLY,God and beside Him there is no other. His a reminder of promise and keeper of promise, full and complete. Just as his creation if your took away for it it wouldn't show its glorious nature and if you added to it, it would be to had to bear. thus proving the that He is far beyond our understanding in some matters , But He understands what needed to the letter for us to get the hint.

now thats horriblybeautiful

walk in the mist

the sprinkles of the mist, kiss my cheeks sideways as the commingling of street lamps providing artificial sunshine create beauty. there's something about the contrast of two elements that when in the right circumstances could take me from this place act together and create a sight for me sore eyes all pressed tightly against a matte black sky, or something as simple as a tree burdened with the weight of the rains disbursement on its branches to source low shadows against the concrete, short moments of amazing wonderment , a desire to lay here and take it all in. bring along its calmness bring along its cool demeanor and the music of puddles dancing ...splish splash beneath my sneakers, shoelaces dragging behind because they feel the same as i. hoodie drumming quietly to stay and just wonder why.....

thats horriblybeautiful

the way

"they way she kissed me this mornin "poem is coming soon i have to finish writing it

hmmmmmmmmmmm im speechless

the thing about him is that he just write because words coming out of his mouth isnt a good combo he not necessicrarly mad but but its a neccessity to speak so that he doesnt speak to her horribly not to fuel the flames of unstability, but crystal clear dialogue between the two parties. he believes in her but doesnt wanna stop trusting, he worries if his respected enough to continue on or is it just .....

its not you its me

he catches sundrops as they trickle off leaves and gerber petals in his hands and rubs it into his skin as a cure all for all that he thinks about to himself, selfish amongst the wordsmiths comprised internally, the deviation for which one should speak in majority, which one is called upon.or none. Does his silence speak for him or is in a shout in muffled ear a congested heart, and a forgetful mind. expires the times of wondering why and renews his sense of carelessness to his own heart. to be careless of how its chooses to love, as it struggles to regain a conscienceness about all the things it once believed all the things that made its cheek muscle contract in such a why that it exserts happiness , if it could actually do such a thing if it could actually be fearless to the bullies upstairs and be passionate with itself. when it decides to write what is it trying to say it that all that it once proclaimed if its fiction or the opposite or is he just dumb enough to believe in himself because with his fools ambition he continues to write feel love and fall as the only machine driven through his propetual emotion

Space

starry eyed he cries supernovas as he tries to figure whats worst a blackhole for a heart or a collapsed one. they both seem bad in any situation .does the weight of the world seem the same in zero gravity?for him it still seems too much. traveling on a milky way walking haley comet as his pet he is dragged around his neighborhood, a place were no one can hear you scream infinite darkness and the occassional space being and tears dont fall they splash up to remind him of his sorrow, its looks as a he cracks a smile out, stonefaced this moon man stays the same .but as sure as the sunshines upon the earth his orbit brings him right back to where he started and its pull it is to great and he is stuck in this space. He whats to feed his happiness but its all dehydrated

tears me .....,

her tears mark her desperation , he wants to tell not to do so but what can you do? its pains him to see her this way her delicate eyes gaze upon him glazed with sorrow , a cycle,out of their control continues to spin because revelations of loves end  wrapped in consuming anger. he embraces her before they part reluctant to leave but its as she please and he loves her and she loves him and they love, love .as she kisses his neck with lips so sweet mixed with tear drop left on his sleeves, he looks in her eye and they know fine everything will be, they go on there ways but his thoughts of her do not cease. from the strands of her silk left in his vicinity or the capture of her pink cry induced nose locked in his memory and with her he longs to be. and as he sits smelling the beauty left of his lovely. sometimes horriblybeautiful things start from things that went horribly 

 its worth it

the racist

i had this thought today i was wondering about books and publishing and all of that. And how some people get there boooks out and somehow i got on the thought of racist literature and how they get there voice out to the world, how the probably have there on own machines to print and the own designers and what not and came to this thought

what if there was a racist that made some of the most beautiful art works that you have witnessed, would it still matter that the material and or the artist was still racist in nature or would you value it based upon astestic beauty. to some this may seem as a perplexing trick question or to some it is clear cut as black and white.

 when a person becomes a racist are they defined by that only and not a human anymore? someone that does not feel or have emotion?even though that have we may be characterized that way being the people that are disliked and hated. or is it possible for a view for their artistic license and the person that lies under all the hate and resentment for another race. 

my opinion is wierd i guess as usual i never really have ever had to expeirence racial issues so i dont really look at things as up tight as others. i have the ability to laugh at things look past things not saying i wouldnt get offended if it was right in my face. somethings are taken too seriously. not saying slurs and the whole movement was a joke but if something is beautiful its beautiful and sometimes its horriblybeautiful

speechless

he loves her more than he did the first time it parted his lips.he waits impatiently as school children for their next encounter, she is short and sweet but all to fulfill his big heart. scrunched noses make her adorable beyond belief. when he looks into eyes its like trying to win a staring contest with the stars, he wants to hold and love her for every second there is grains of sand. to hear her whispers in the shadows and caress her hands ,he apologizes for not kissing her then but perfection his sweetheart will happen again ,his cautiousness why? he thought he lost her once and and he wants never to feel that again. speechless

the subway

do you hear me? floats upon dust particles,dances among O2 and meanders,muttled in a crowded subway car through the city, his palms at chest height flashed pointing towards the interiors upward limitations.

 

He mouths the words again slower knowing there is no need for sound due to the conditions of the car.Do----- you----hear-----me? She smiles and nods but only as a testament to acknowledge that he was speaking to her but not for what he said . he utters again now this time with accompaniment of his finger  he points to her then his ear and to himself. 

still nothing. he smiles all the while ,head down cuz he choose these seating arrangments, he figured he would sit and stare upon her splendor telling her his sentitment towards her as the world flew past plastic windows. and as the sun raced the metallic transport is love for her deepened with each passing breath and light flicker .

 he withdraws a marker from his pocket and draws a heart around the suns aura on the plexiglass canvas, he then beckons her eyes to gaze upon handles the dangle the ceiling, the doors and the gestures her to listen motion of the trackz where the wheels and rails make contact.  gliding across the aisle his smile pays the toll to enter her personal space ,he lightly  pronounces his world to her.

 the delicate nature of your love burns fiery within me i am transparent to your vison you see thru me directlying to my heart and its simplicity on the notions of my love for you. you hand is the handle i care less who has held it before but i hold on to it steadfastly when life speeding and the ground is moving without me. we will sway but not sucumb to gravity. as for the doors we are enclosed in each other, people can look thru the windows of this beautiful situation but long to be indoor to endure it. and the shallow thud permeates the floors and the light rock with each passing inch. this is my heart beat as you walk into a room, or enter a thought, or smile to express how i made you feel and in turn i feel weightless. the motion associated is how my heart feels as it pounds against my sternum  try to caress yours. similar to how are skin does when we hug so deeply with you palm on the nape of my neck and u inhale my essence and i melt into you as your tiny frame is pressed perfectly into mine . we breathe simultaneously  thinking the same thoughts of the future. and we smile in this subway car made for two. 

hands interlocked they sit in a silence that roars louder then the bustling city below with  heads leaned against shoulders and eyes focused on their grip they have become the only two people in this crowded scene.

by alli ztra 

horrriblybeautiful

i robot

have you ever noticed how dependent on technology we are its ridiculous forreal, it is a invisible crutch that we al hold. Dont get all "i dont know what alli talkin bout today he trippin". Man how many of us cant do simple math in our heads cuz its easier to do it on a calculator. you ever been to a fast food place and the drawer isnt counting the change you will see supreme perplexing looks as the cashier is trying to get your change back. or you ever by chance just left you phone in the house and had to make a call so u when to a pay phone but oh no i cant remember the number cuz its in your phone and not your head. man i have the funniest one i saw a man in the bathroom waving his hands under the sink waiting for the water to come on and when i lifted my handle to wash mean he looked and i think he was to embarrassed to turn his on so he walked out. dirty handed and all. we must condition ourselves to keep our brains active and remembering cuz we cant leave it all up to them or we are screwed forreal , so keep a notepad, do some math.homework and practice turning n faucets at home. i guess next time your gonna want something to think for u nope not me that would be too horriblybeautiful

Fight or Flight :the tattoo monologues pt1

Tattoos tell a story to each person that has one. either the tattoo itself or just the whole process is something memorable with its effects there day after day never to cease. with me the ones that i own hold special meaning unlike some people( i apologize  if that's  you ) they tell important info about my life. i struggle that i had to overcome or just how people effect my living. in this series of writing i will go over my tattoos and talk about the symbolism behind them . 

one mans trial is a another mans inspiration.

Fight or Flight

see i had this girlfriend in high school ,she was my 1st love . you know the whole story your first everything , this, this and that. we met 11 grade and we were each others 1st serious relationship. and we had come to our first truly big test. and also a testament to my naive stupidity. College,i have received a scholarship to play football in Michigan, and she got into a school in North Carolina. now with my since of perfect love and trust and respect i love this girl fiercely, things were fine and great we talked on the phone ,wrote letters, i would go see her more then i would go see my own mother at any chance i got. i was with her. even before the whole process of me having to figure out if i was going to Michigan in the first place. i was sick, trying to find a way to be close to her. i figured whats so big about a scholarship and looked for other options anything to save my love. but to no avail i like relationship i had to be commented to my obligations . and through it all i had my up and downs  even still hung in there, same with football i wasn't the die hard football player as most see with my size and ability tell you the truth i never really play or watched football until the 11 grade but my ability to take instruction and my ability to take coaching and the Ford never quit attitude even when i was on the verve of it, i pushed on. it finally sank in on conversation i had with my father that what i was doing was not about now but was to have vision for later. for me to give up on myself was unacceptable, and if i don't push and just accept my defeat but i just went through the motions i would be wasting time of myself and those around me. and also the whole conversation when i talked to my girlfriend and she told me she cheated on me 3 months after we had been in school, and but that's in the book I'm writing so. when i looked at all i went through my struggle with being far from home, no family, no friends and missing my girlfriend and having to deal with football in a way i never had before. to wake up every morning and push even when i didn't want to. the losing streaks , the cheating partner and yelling coaches . i looked at the whole experience that without coming here i would have not grown and i would stayed the same. i would have been satisfied with a mediocre existence and now I'm more open to life then i ever would have thought. and i wanted to encompass all my ideals on this situation through art and simply this option to.

 Fight or Flight

test and trials pt2

well its kinda hard to explain this next part. i just hope yall follow me as close as possible. because if you follow then you'll understand what im trying to saying and then therefore you cant get as mad...

 ok in the black community where christianity thrives we often come across many types of people, its sort of tradition to generally have a reverence for the Lord. its engrained in the spirit of us ,this slight touch ,that small contact that many experience, there own little piece of Jesus. But in most forms he is not properly groomed and with out the proper intro many are claiming to be found when indeed they are still lost. There in lies the rub. Now like its been said before God is a intricate God a loving,merciful,kind God with the Desire for all his children to be saved thus him dying for all mankind sins. he didnt pick and choose when he was on the cross, he covered us all.  we must also look at the fact that God already knows it from the beginning and end. Even with his desire for us to be saved.  he still gave us the free will and the opportunity to work outside of his will, the results are on you but he gave us that choice. a thought about God that is needed to be  taken into account . We all have purpose upon this planet some greater than others and continue to know that purpose is not something you find at the end of life but purpose arises everyday, with every breathe some of it may not seem  relevant but even that smaller interactions are part of the great timing of God. You see it when God may show you how if you would have been somewhere just a few seconds earlier it would be the end or it i didnt leave when i did that could have been me.

I say all of that to get to this point ,

i think death in the community that is the result of violence,stupidity,and utter ignorance is taken in the wrong context by many who its surrounds. In terms that if you look sin so intertwined into the fabric of the black community its hard to distinguish it for what is wrong and regular tradition. i understand we have had to adapt to certain things but in turn we have made the transforming factor worst than the initial issue.  

God is can make a way, out of no way ,correct? so it would not seem unorthodox for him to use something as powerful as death to open the eyes of the "blind". He's done it once and as example he continues to use this universal process to try and show man the errors of their ways and to re evaluate life. he shows two simple dialogue in there plainest form

first, the wages of sin death and second you reap what you sow. Man its getting deeper,

there are some that believe they have the world figured out better than the one who gave creation. they live this life. in which im sure that God give us all a chance to be saved, the opportunity is waived and the ultimate wage is achieved now the reaping of their sowing . Now God knowing this and those that this person was surrounded by, he may use this instance to bring a closer relationship to them. because many times it is needed for a man to be brought to his lowest before he can be built back up. 

be patient there still more but ive been up all night so stay tuned

test and trials pt1

We need to stop getting God Twisted, yes i  said it . i think that some of us have the biggest misconception concerning God and dont see the intricate design of his plan.

i have a large feeling that somebody is going to get mad at me.

 But look at it this way if you are reading this , did you ever think that maybe, just maybe instead of being ,mad at what you are reading that you were destined at that moment to read it , what you have read in order to touch your heart. and im not saying that i am the voice of God. i am far from that ,im saying God uses us all and if he meant for you to get something, he will strike that chord.

so if you dont mind ,i say that we get into the deepest depths off rip and come on up. lets discuss somethings that we all have dealt with and if you say that you havent you are stone cold lying. im talking about test and trials 

test and trials , well the common answer is  something that comes along in your life to make you strong and is a faith builder. but way to often we get sucked in to the belief that when test and trials comes its a automatic defeat. and there is no use in trying. 

this is where the i need to knock this thought out, cause im gonna get deep. 

we must realize that God has this all planned out he knows what you going to do before you do it . So when we see those big and bad trials, we must  use them for exactly what they were intended for, to build and be stronger.But too often we dont have the desire to press, we lack the faith and the knowledge of His promise , so we sit in despair feeling a sorry for ourselves when we should be having a increase. He is enstilling in us the things we need to be better ,richer in his word and life. we should look at it as a blessing because He saw that i need to be better and He loves me enough to make me better. He is giving something more valuable then anything you can imagine but yet we cry on pay day. we wallow instead of rejoicing in knowing that he is making more of the person He wanted me to be. which is something you can never imagine.

Ok im just gonna go for it, in the Black Community. We are just not living up to privilege .we are not living up to full potential.and there is this magical seperation of what He says and what we do. and we get this boldness in us to truly in our hearts believe that whatever we make acceptable to God is what he accepts. We conform ourselves to the world and then conform those practices to the word. Now what can simply be solved with communication a dialogue. it Is ignored because our form of Worship has so much of us .pride and me, me, me in it .im not saying that we all our like this because that is false. im talking to those that perplex themselves and dont even know.

think ON that and be ready for part 2 

im getting into how God works in our life : maybe thru the wages of sin?

our audacity of a lukewarm spirit

STAY TUNED

im sleep

im going to bedd but in the morning notice the time but in the morning i got you

artbox up

be patient

ill be back tonite , with something for your itching eyes dont fret lol

i woke up in ........

today i woke up in love.. Seriously i did... its the weirdest thing i really did.Didn't realize it till about a couple minutes ago cuz im sitting here thinking of a girl in my dream that i had last nite.i didn't have her, like that i mean she is in the dream i had last night but i was in love ,i felt all crazy inside. one for the fact since the girl was in my dream she was a figment of my imagine with no possibility of being with and feeling as strongly as i did and secondly im sitting here thinking bout her. now aint that crazy. it was a kinda awkward. we stayed up all night and talked on phone even though we were in the same house expressing our love for each other. as i walk around her house that kinda resemble my grandma house if it was a mansion. and i was looking for my room and there were people sleeping everywhere .ummmmmmm weird how the cross over of emotions can happen. to manifest something in our dreams and bring them to life. love,comfort,stability,being horriblybeautiful

Walk with me Dummy

walk with me if you would down a road, a road of fairy tale and ridiculous nature . to a place where some questions i ask and im not even sure why,but im going to asking you for your response so, to the 2.3 people that tune into horriblybeautiful i ask. how do you think the world would be, if ailment of the pcyshe were transmittable. i know your saying whatttt???? let me put  it this way, what if stupidity was a STD? lol that just sound crazy. yes i said it how do you think this world would be?
Ok i say here are the parameters(hehe i love that word) if you have any variables to be worked in(im talking to your tangible-knowledge) ok sickness, the common cold, the flu, and what not,STD's, im really not sure bout the major things like cancers and disease of the lungs and what have you. that might just be a tad much but the things that were able to be contracted would be here's the list:

common colds

flu

stomach virus

STD's (excluding HIV & AIDS)

Stupidity

ditzyness

blond moments

type of palsy

mental diabilities...if you wanna add or subtract imm just tryna make good convo.
Now we are ready to start look at our world as it is right .now but we subtract the majors such a terminal illnesswhich takes a big pressure of the world all the hurt and pain that are amassed by the families that have been affected, but say you are walking around one day and you catch the stupid's  can't do your process right, thinking capabilities are effected. Sentences structure is outrageous and you are just a stupid mess. now of course just some of these ailments would not have cures butwould run there course.being ditzy would stay a couple days if you had some type of vitamin issue or immune one. you might be ditzy for a month who knows. it would all be dependent on the persons.
imagine the effect on the people such as the youth imagine you could catch "the clap" and cerbal palsy in same sexual encounter and by no means am i saying you'd have sex with somebody with palsy .it would be able to lie dominant and be passed .im not sick.  just imagine life would be live totally different.
i would see the world in a totally different light imagine how the love and understanding and sensitivity for a fellow mans  ailment would change how we view the handicap, or the blondes. because the different experience would be lived through the eyes of the judgers. having to walk with a assistance or inability to function properly. Now im sure the evil geniuses of the world would construct super strains and biological warfare and tactics to (excuse my lack for a better word) cripple there enemies.  we are for the most part always on the outside looking in not knowing another persons pain or struggle but as you have to take your chances and be exposed to with down syndrome as you woke up in the morning .it would put alot of things in order.acceptance would be greater but it would also take a  kinder people not to take advantage if the those of a temporary effected. a more loving world family noww that thought is horriblybeautiful

Dreams?

dreams are one part vision and one part manifestion of  hearts desire

love is being passionate fearless

am i wrong to love dreams?

dreamers, dream and lovers love 

am i wrong to dream of love?

lovers dream and dreamers love

am i naive enough to be both?

UNA

my newest post is "the una" its under " love awww"..... just wanted to tell you cuz my blog says otherwise lol

Wishes and Whatnot

DO YOU WISH YOU NEVER MET ME ?

that is a question asked many a times to people in many dialects and diverse languages around this world. You either are on the speaker or recipient but in all what is trying to be figured out when these words are spoken? Are you trying to gauge how much sorrow or pain or strife you have inflicted upon a persons life or does it just sound like a good thing to ask ?Are we ackonowledging the fact that yes ,you truly loathe the day of meeting and if i could take back time u would not be where you are when i got here, but i seriously doubt that when it comes down to that many people say yes and then subtract the person form there lives because you must be engaged in conversation at least to a calm degree for a statment just as this to arise. Now the statement of the proclamation of " i wish i never met you" i see more applicable to life is to show your de-testment for a situation and or person. 

But for me this question is test, and even with its harshness something you must be delicate with. Because Anger also sources stupidity,  and you might have to take a second and think about it. Wow if you had to go through what i had to go through by the hands of yourself , would you still be here? which is a major task of self evaluation but for the asker, but i ultimately your answer effects you relationship with this person. 

the way i see it, if when ive gone thru the pondering of how i truly feeling about this person. Do i love them like i say i do, or was i just speaking sweet thoughts just to hear myself talk? or was i really trying to move a ill-movable heart in desperate hope that they would find it in their heart to find me there, not caring the about outcome knowing my heart was on the line but knowing what i was betting on was a lot more valuable then heartbreak. I also look at the person what have we taught each other, what have we learned about each other have you found yourself in someone and them in you? but in it all have made something impossible for any other to create. a friendship and relationship all to be negated by that wish. But what is wish came true as we spoke them into existence? its would be a hinderance to growth of us all not being able to learn for times before ultimately leaving us all the same unchanged but yet naive which is worse than bitter. 

you never know what is in store for us all stories are still being rolled out in front of us everyday, being directed as we should go, just because im not where i want to be now doesn't mean i will not be tomorrow and how do i look as i look in her eyes and have to tell her i lost all faith and love for you, are growth and  relationship has made me ponder all options but being here with you right now, my poems are nothing now but wisps of air in the night, i once cringed at your touch, and i cringed at our existence as friends or whatnot, but now that we are together i take those back because im getting my way and i need you more than ever, i love you sweetheart even though a day ago i wish i never met you...

so my answer is NO i  cherish it all, the good, the bad, the ugly, all we have and what is yet to come it makes for a horriblybeautiful ending

me likey, lol man thats horriblybeautiful

the una

Either cupid has his foot stuck where the sun dont shine or im just a different type of person.  Im on this kick of love and what not, so why not go into the realm that is oh so hard for some and oh so easy for others, "the one."  

If you are not sure what I'm talking about that  i talking about that one person that ultimately is the missing piece to the puzzle. Now, im talking from a perspective that im not really going to goto in to cuz its complexcity makes my head spin but in all the sitiuations that i have been in ,i have come up with a conclusion  kinda of a way to figure this out, its a science but the crazy part is that the textbook is written by the hearts of whoever is the formula. 

There are those, whose say out of all the people in the world your tryna to tell me that there is one, one person that can complete me? and im going to say yes, why not, why count out all the reasons for there to be a one person than to build a wall up that is so high that no one can anything to get around it and you are just missing out on your happiness. i mean we all live so many different lives it soon beecomes this muck that is impossible to see through, i say a couple decades ago finding your souls mate or your una was a little easier ,there was not many  fences up around people to shield us out, and the roles of the male and female were stronger than before, not saying that women belong barefoot in the kitchen, but chilvary was still alive and well and to be a gentleman was a task and to be lady was a job and when you both found the commonality and love for one another the bliss that ensued was magical. walks in the parks were not cliche or a seranade was not uncommon  a accurance, but now do to the narrcissitic nature of the culture. Where a man wants to prettier than girlfriend or more fierce than her, man we a losing out on a great gift, 

im going to address my gender right quick, you may say alli "where you nutz at son "talking like this ?"i could care what you say because you being so closed minded in the first place got us here. ok so there are some main things in my mind that are being a hindereance in the process of finding that beloved women of your one, the truth, if we all could just be truthful in manys situations, this world would be much better , be honest to anyone and everyone you meet just because to think its ok to be fake cuz the world is doesnt make it ok. being honest with one self in all things and dealing with you problems before bestowed them on your mate and saying its there fault, accountabilty , have it. treat women as you would want somebody to treat your daughter or mother, 

Respect is a key issue as well ,im sorry for jumping around you just gotta keep up, as God put us on this planet he left males in charge so if you wanna know why alot of things in realtionships are messed up is because either you or another male have not acted appropriately, we love living by these double standards that we can do anything and they can do nothing, we've even tricked ourselves into feeling that we have the  right to anger.Tto be angry when this happens, thats just dumb even though youve been doing the same things..... hold plz cuz i feel if i just keep talking we are going to end in circles and thats a waste of time so here's a list

i will add to it but of the top of my head here are somethings that will make it easier

Things to discard: double standards, dishonesty,disrespect,not having compassion

if u lose those things in your relatioships you'll see a change(note there are more)

Things to GAIN: TRUST,COMMUNATCATION,LOVE,RESPECT,HONESTY,A HUMBLE NATURE TOWARDS YOUR MATE.

WE MUST LEARN TO BE HUMBLE TO ONE ANOTHER,NOT  PUSHOVERS BUT IF WE RESPECTFUL HAVE A CONCENSUS Amongest each other .

Females i will say males must take a major part of the blame being as thought were are to be the leaders in the household and when we lead with bad example after bad example. i mean why wouldnt i expect that you guys to pick up some kind of baggage from that?

As women yall have to be resistant to the bull that is out there, have a standard. but do not think you are better than any man, because you find your one real quick, when you looking at yourself every morning, as strong as ya'll are as mother and leaders of households due to "man". Please don't adapt the  ways of your counter part, someone once told me if someone is treating you wrong dont change who you are let them be wrong. im not saying get abused or nothing bout dont allow the insecurity and low self esteem of someone dictate how your are viewed. 

Take pride in your honesty and loyalty, cuz some of us get counted out off of this simple question have your ever cheated on someone b4? and not much what this say you, whole heartly trust them after that... just at thought.

marinate and proceed

and we are finally here what you all have been waiting on, the main reason why you have read through all this.....

here we go when you find "the one" you will just know......

everybody is not the same ,in any capacity, man that just sounds confusing ok.I look at the one like this and im talking from my eye and mine only. im glad your here to read this hopefully you might catch something that you see in someone thats yours.She is the person that true indeed completes me in all facets, i am her compleiment and she is mine, in all that i lack she makes up for, im strong to the lead her but im humble enough to recieve to her help, to have in unquestionable trust like none other on this planet, to know each other inside and out, nothing is secret or hidden. We must know the deepest darkest fear from within each and do what ever is possible  to keep it from reality and if it does show to the light of day her first step is tandem with mine to face it, to read my heart at glance, melt me with a smile and doing what ever to hear her laugh till she cant talk cuz oddly enough its one of the things that is almost as beautiful as she is, her enery energizes me ,  making everyday feel like the first day we decided to be, she tip toes in and out of my day, lite as a feathers touch in memories sight, beside these the true explaination of our affections are unexplainable but all the more reason why i love her and why she love me, a compatablity the revials manucfactered pairs and from regeneration  material we converse upon makes our toungues tired and our body languages weak from utterance. 

well how do you find her?

 since she is my one true love our magentism through God is drawing her to me and to me to her, ever so subtly and we become 1 in God's eyes. We are the love story that God has authored, with each pen stroke forms a picture from his words, LOVE,a simple picture is illustrated a simple triangle with him at the top guiding procession and with her and i on a opposing ends but connected still on the same wave length, the only Love triangle suitable for happiness, the only Love triangle acceptable in his eyes. in total surrender.

Im not saying that days well always be perfect, and troubles can't surface, and you might say where is this love that you are speaking of. it is if i allow it to be, if i love her this much and we are not even together imagine when we'll be, IF you feel like love can never feel this way then it wont, if you are loving the mudane where thats where youll stay. but if God put this together what shall we be afraid of? why we should concern ourselves with the reason of why of Love cant be like this it not only a waste of time but a waste of love... thats something horriblybeautiful

LOVE awwwwwww......

I have been thinking bout love lately. Wow, that may be a tad surprising as my first actual post. A 24 yr old blk male talking about love. I'm not here to bash it, i just want to talk about it. Its crazy to me how love has become one of the most overused and under-appreciated feelings in culture. Once revered as the emotion of supremacy between family,friends and lovers love has in some ways just become a way to end a conversation. I'm not saying that true love doesn't exist because it does, I'm just saying that i wish people would truly cherish an irreplaceable emotion such as it. Nothing speaks like it, nothing touches like it, nothing can be compared to it, but it has been trodden down to levels of instant gratification and fade. I personally don't know the situation of every man, women, child on this planet or every circumstance but i guess some people are not as smart as they look or being shallow is the new "IN" thing and I'm just not cool anymore.

Love is an unconditional condition not to be broken apart by hearsay and your ability to believe in your insecurities more than you believe in me.

It shouldn't be the tainted line i slide to you to make us become one, only for a night

or an excuse for the abuse you cause.

A lot of us are being verbally abused and we don't even know it !!!! Because when it comes down to it all their words are, are hallow calls from the vastness of nothingness, leading me to assumption but never getting to the desired destination of love. We have been desensitized to a gift.

I understand, you know some of us haven't been taught love, it is something that we had to learn about on our own, maybe you grew up and emotions were not something that came around your house often, or it was a weakness or you fearful of it because you've seen what hallow calls can do to a person. Like i said i understand but if you open your pupils to see past it all, break it down step by step, what do u have when its dissected? love? or a lovely lie?

Things are so much more enjoyable if you read the box, i mean if the directions are followed not to a "t" but within the parameters ,every true love is unique and special in the eyes of its recipients. We must stand against love and adoration being taught through a TV screen cuz if that's the case you've just read my blog and I'm madly and deeply in love with you....

Man that's horriblybeautiful

az

LIFT OFF

WELCOME TO THE LAUNCH OF HORRIBLY BEAUTIFUL

IM HERE,IF YOUR READING THIS YOUR HERE, SO IM JUST GOING TO BEGIN,

LIKE EVERYBODY IM DISCUSSING MY LIFE, UNLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE ,THAT THEY DONT SEE IT LIKE ME. IT MIGHT JUST BE A WORD, A PARAGRAPH OR A POEM BUT PIECE BY PIECE IT COMES TOGETHER TO FORM ME

CHECK BACK WITH ME 

ALLI Z