mirrors

No matter how many times i done cleaned it off, this mirror of mine keeps getting fogged, because i been showering myself in insecurity. its remence in the steam blurs my vision of where im looking glass and i cant see who i am clear.i stand here dripping wet of the pains and sorrows and things i should forget, knowing if i stand in this coldness for too long it will kill me..........

ill finish it later enough about being sad lol smh let get into to so dopiness shall we

i found her again today...

i found her again today, in one of my cabinets, she was one of my perpetual irrational habits…

i found memories of what used to be surprisingly in my cabinetry, her name in which i dare not utter, for it might put to shambles what has come to be cleaned up clutter…

it was a weird time and a weirder place,like iraqi conflicts we claim to be accomplishing something but just where occupying space… and at the end of it all im stuck in this place, with this bag full of trash ive identified with contents as we both were stamped waste…

I could only wish...

As i leaned back in my wood back chair i glare at the ceiling and see how beautiful it is. its not just a normal ceiling, the character of the space is hell for those who lack depth perception, as the arches of bricks overlay the pipes that provide it places artificial weather and the calmness of the drywall, rigidness of the sheet metal meld together, and the dullness of the carpet and invitation of the glass and alas i find myself wishing…wish for a wish that those who find cyborgs sexy would ask for..i wish that my eyes would take pictures and record. now you may know ztra well we all have a brain and we all have memory, so we kinda have that already your asking for too much but i dont think it was intentionally…but no good sir i meant what i said i wish i had lenses for eyes and chips for memory the shutter button is my heart and my emotion is focusing… if you could only see what i see consistently you could fully understand what i childly am asking… because even if we stop and switched places and you tried to perceive with your eyes,you could never see, by me just moving for the second the scenery ive left behind, the lumens wont kiss your eyelids like they do mine and the chair wont hug you and couldn’t focus just right, the glass wouldn’t hold your thoughts as you caressed it for a while, and you wouldn’t be at the right height to see high enough to behold what i saw, that made environment smile, a smile which was given to me as i release the shutter clik …clik… clik … see how long it last i could only wish…

Goldvicfish

so i was reading the blog of my homie vic and i kinda got me thinking. mainly i think i was the fact that i miss her i, i havent seen her in a really long time and shes half way across the universe. secondly when i was reading her blog i was sad because in the post that i was reading she was not having a good time i suppose typical stuff you would go thru being in a different country and no one speaking your language, i didnt really feel like readin it all becuz goldies fingers are kinda longwinded but in all i just wanted to give her the biggest hug i could ever give her. i might have almost killed her but at least it would show her that it pains your friends to see you in distress and out all alone and crying( which i dont think i have ever heard vic doing cuz of her tough cookieness) but that is all. It made me think of the opportunity that im pursuing i applying to help teach overseas this up coming summer, and will i go thru the same thing???
hmm i hope you see this Vic let u know im thinking about cha and prayering for ya thats all
love ya vic see you in a lil while alli